Finding My Voice

In the still, beautiful, peacefulness of the morning, I sit in quiet meditation, the sun’s light brimming across the earth’s horizon and giving new visibility to the landscape around me. It was dark when I ventured out into the cool crisp air of this unseasonably warm February Colorado morning. Wrapped in my Patagonia blanket – I am cozy and warm – soaking in the glimpse of sun peaking over the mountains before me.

This is where my truth emerges. It’s raw essence climbing to the surface to be discovered. This is where I connect to the voice that wants to rise and take shape.

The outside noise of my always moving mind fades away and I find peace and emptiness within. An emptiness that is essential for my truth to come forth – for the voice to rise within me.  In this early morning pondering, I hear these truths:

• My truth is I am alive and full of life and want to share the vitality of this energy. I feel the essence of my sensual being in tune with all around me. I feel the essence of my emotional being with fears and loves and passions. My truth is that my inner critic can slow me down if I don’t acknowledge her. She will feed my energies with doubts and insecurities. She will silence me.
• My truth also is that I have an inner strength that can hush these insecurities – a warrior goddess within – who wants to share her love with the world. As soon as I open up to the outside world – making it about others – making it about love, the walls come down and the clarity comes forth. For it isn’t about me. My voice is about lifting the souls of others. And when I feel into the energies of this gift – with love and care – the walls of insecurity melt away.
• My truth is I have an ego. Ego can tamper even the hottest fires, dim the brightest lights. I see my ego rise up often. And she doesn’t serve me. She tells me to project my light on others. But voice isn’t about projecting. Voice is about what is within and letting it arise and flow to those who are ready to hear those messages. Connecting soul-to-soul because our stories are meant to touch.

Voice flows from within and dances with the Universe, because the Universe knows why you are here. She knows why I’m here. She knows that very specific reason – that we were both born into this world. She knows what is supposed to flow through you and from you – through me and from me.

And the questions that rises within me as I write in the quiet of the morning:  Is the truth I’m supposed to share with the world – within me only needing to be discovered? Or, is it my role to simply make space for quiet and emptiness within – an open space for my destined message to find its way to me and the seeds to be planted? A space for me to feel the pull to find my own clarity in words and images. A space for me to shape and form them to be… to be mine. I think it is the latter.

For the stream of my voice is found in the quiet. In the breeze. And as I write this the breeze lifts the corner of my warm Patagonia blanket from my shoulders. The breeze gets stronger and I hear the rushing of wind through the tree tops on the hillside above me. I feel it is time to set these words free, to share them. I am grateful for the lessons of the peaceful, quiet space. I am grateful for the love. I am grateful that this is where I find my voice.

I learned several things this morning about finding our voice – in our own truth – not those of others:

1. The peaceful pause in quiet, in nature, in the breeze allows us to remove ourselves from our noise-filled world. Our breath slows down, our busy mind is softly silenced by the gentle breeze. There is magic here.
2. Voice in our truth is light and airy. It’s real. There is no heaviness to our truth. To find what is real for you – listen to your body. She will say this feels light – it is a yes. This feels heavy – it is a no.
3. Voice is organic and alive – it’s earthy. There isn’t a formula to follow or rules to abide by. There have been times in my life where I’ve allowed others to shapeshift my voice to fit within a formula or matrix – to align, to fit in, to strive for something that might not even be mine. And in doing so, I got lost. My voice is strongest when I seek guidance and support that takes me inward first. It is from this inward place that my outward voice is strongest. It’s delivered from the soul.

While I’ve spent a lifetime finding my own voice and helping others find their voice – our causes and all we stand for – I love the fact that I’m still learning and that there is whole waves of learning before me. I am in awe of this. May I always be in awe of the gifts that can be delivered to us – even in the quiet of a single sunrise on a brisk Colorado morning wrapped in my Patagonia blanket.

What do you need to create space within? What voice wants to come forth from you? What is your role in this journey around our Universe? I’d love to hear.

With love,

Kami